The old canard says that the teams in first at the All-Star break will win their divisions. Were this true, we could write off the second half of the season. Moneyball would never have been written about a sub-.500 Oakland A's team.
The first half counts for something though. It's introduced us to a few a five-tool phenoms, including a Dodger who has outplayed his higher-paid peers in just one month on the job. It's provided 51 of the 82 wins the Pirates need to reverse the engines on their 20-year suck machine. And it's answered the question "how much addition would be the subtraction from Boston of Bobby Valentine?"
Here's a team-by-team catalog of some of the other things we've learned.
Atlanta Braves -- Excellent pitching combined with three-true-outcomes (Ks, BBs and HRs) is a recipe for success. Also, Justin Upton + B.J. Upton < Kate Upton.
Washington Nationals -- Running into walls is not a recipe for success. Also, maybe some of last year was smoke and mirrors.
Philadelphia Phillies -- They're exactly what we thought they were and they're more of it every day.
New York Mets -- A great manager can keep people happy even when losses outnumber bowel movements.
Miami Marlins -- There's a baseball player named Adeiny Hechavarria.
St. Louis Cardinals -- Never underestimate an organization that loses its best hitter and best pitcher, but still gets better.
Cincinnati Reds -- They're a top contender unless Johnny Cueto gets hurt.
Pittsburgh Pirates -- Great 1-12 pitching outweighs even Clint Barmes at short. They'll break .500 but the playoffs are a stretch.
Milwaukee Brewers -- They're still paying the mortgage on 2011.
Chicago Cubs -- Theo's five-year rebuilding plan is right on schedule. The plan involves four years of pungent odors at Wrigley.
Arizona Diamondbacks -- Gerardo Parra, Paul Goldschmidt and Didi Gregorious are just getting going. Heath Bell is done.
Colorado Rockies -- They're one starter away from burying the NL West.
San Francisco Giants -- They've become the anti-Giants: all hit and no pitch.
San Diego Padres -- They're upside-down: Chase Headly can't hit. Huston Street, Edinson Volquez and Clayton Richard can't pitch. Andrew Cashner, Jason Marquis and Evreth Carbrera are carrying the team. Doesn't matter: they're mediocre however you slice it.
L.A. Dodgers -- Buying up players from losing teams doesn't lead to winning. (Duh.)
Texas Rangers -- They're strong on both sides of the ball but without a bench they'll continue to be vulnerable.
Oakland A's -- "You got pitching in my OBP." "You got OBP in my pitching." Rieces Peanut Butter Cup!
Anaheim Angels -- Only 12 more years of Pujols and Hamilton. Worst investments since Enron. Or ARod.
Seattle Mariners -- Thank goodness for Houston.
Houston Astros -- Las Vegas says two chances in five they fail to hit 100 losses.
Detroit Tigers -- We thought they needed a closer when the season began. Turns out what they needed was a closer.
Cleveland Indians -- Even 81 games in you still don't trust them.
Kansas City Royals -- The hallucinations that prompted trading a top prospect for James Shields are now simply nightmares.
Minneota Twins -- The Padres of the American League. It might never get better.
Chicago White Sox -- When a guy batting .198 is your second best hitter, make October vacation plans. They have talent on the mound but Paul Konerko and Adam Dunn struck midnight.
Boston Red Sox -- The old guys still have it -- at least for half a season.
Baltimore Orioles -- The lightning's still in the bottle -- at least another day.
New York Yankees -- The replacements had it again -- for 60 games.
Tamp Bay Rays -- Who needs money when you have Evan Longoria and your team is named for my dad?
Toronto Blue Jays -- The big free agents who didn't have it in Miami, still don't, at least so far.
The narrative's half written. Baseball teams are like rivers -- they're never the same twice. Acquisitions and losses alter dynamics; injuries and recoveries explode expectations; the light bulb goes on for some guys; the engine runs out of coal for others. Let's recognize our All-Stars and then enjoy the second half. We're in for a humdinger.
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