Peyton Manning, Baseball-Style

You don't need 40,000 yards of insight to realize that the confluence of Peyton Manning's sore neck and the Colt's team disintegration is a happy coincidence for both, leading to an amicable divorce that serves both the team and the star well.

The usual arc of the story in which a championship vehicle temporarily loses its steering wheel is one of wobbling to a mediocre finish. In one sense, that's better luck, but in another, it's no Luck at all. The team's downward spiral is masked, unwarranted hope is kept alive and there's no #1 draft pick awaiting.

For Indianapolis, there is no denying the need for a total rebuild, the kind of no use to, and able to make no use of, an aging Peyton Manning. Manning is now free to choose the best spot for his golden parachute landing, and IF he is healthy -- the most momentous two letters in English -- to continue his historic career with opportunities to win more championships.

It got me thinking, who is the Peyton Manning of baseball? That is, which accomplished veteran is most in need of a new uniform where his departure would most aid his team?

The simple answer is that there is no baseball analogy for Manning; indeed, there might be no equivalent in all of sports, which is why the Colts dilemma has been such ubiquitous news for months. Still, we can draw some parallels. Here are a few:

Joe Mauer, C, Minnesota Twins -- The Twins lost 99 games last year for two reasons: they didn't hit and they didn't pitch. This year, Francisco Liriano is back from injury and Mauer and Justin Morneau might be. Or they might not. Mauer played in just 82 games after knee surgery and lingering doubts about a 6'5" backstop. Morneau has played in 150 games in two years, suffering from a  string of injuries wired in parallel, including a pair of concussions that sidelined him for more than four months and four surgeries (neck, knee, foot, wrist) among other assorted cricks, cracks and creaks. 

The Target field denizens aren't going anywhere this year or probably next, the last two seasons Mauer will spend in his 20s. If he wants to contribute to a winner, he desperately needs to play elsewhere. Coincidentally, the Twinkles could use relief from that eight-year, $184 million albatross they signed Mauer to following his anomalous 2009 season (.365/.44/.587 ). Maybe then they'll be able to sign a pitcher or two who can actually break glass with his fastball.

David Wright, 3B, NY Mets -- For starters, Wright might like to be paid this year in American legal tender. Fred Wilpon's got some of that around here somewhere. Hey, here's some chit, a few hundred IOUs and a whole box of rubber checks. Oh wait, I also have this autographed Jose Reyes photo from his dreadlock days. That's gotta be worth four digits on Ebay if you act before the 2012 season starts.

If the Mets still exist during Mitt Romney's second term, perhaps they won't suck. For now, they just need to shed salary, and David Wright needs other kids to play with while he's still young (29) and carefree. Citi Field is sapping his power and masking his continuing tremendiosity. Even last year, laid up for 50 games and limited to a .254 B.A., he hit 14% above league average. 

Johan Santana, P, NY Mets --  Sorry Met fans, but Santana is the closest thing to Peyton Manning in MLB. After a string of great performances, he's missed a full season and his current health is a wild card. He's on the wrong side of 32 and he's already begun to decline. (After five seasons of 219+ innings, he's thrown 167, 199 and zero. After four seasons of 235+ strikeouts, he fanned 146 and 144 (and, of course, zero) for the Mets.)

The Mets' marketing department might be able wring a couple of Venezuelan Nights out of their lefty ace, but beyond that, does it really matter whether they win 70 games with Santana on the hill every sixth night or 65 games with Chris Schwinden? You bet it does! It makes a $79 million difference, that being the gap between Santana's remaining $80 million salary through 2014 (plus buyout) and what Schwinden would make if he manages to cling to a roster spot.

Houston, Pittsburgh, Seattle and the Cubs figure to be gawdawful this year as well, but they aren't holding any competent veterans hostage, so these three players strike me as the closest to Peyton doppelgangers in America's pastime. Good luck, Joe, David and Johan!

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