Playoff Narratives and the Analysts Who Love Them

Sweeps are like the end of summer vacation: they leave a void in our lives that we must fill. With the 2012 Major League Baseball season braking prematurely, analysts are racing to explain a universe that suddenly makes no sense.

Here are some narratives you might hear about the teams and individuals who defied the laws of physics during the playoffs:

Narrative 1: Pablo Sandoval's two blasts off All-World Justin Verlander set the tone for the World Series and forced the Tigers to panic in Game 2. Sandoval deserves the MVP just for that, the same way Kirk Gibson's one at-bat for the Dodgers in the 1988 World Series did.

Narrative's Attractiveness: Provides a plausible explanation for two unfathomable circumstances: 1. how two evenly-matched teams end up in a sweep and 2. why Detroit got shut out twice.

Narrative's Flaw: Baseball players and managers aren't fans or media. They don't panic after one game. They play 162-game seasons and understand the ebbs and flows. They don't rush to explain everything; they just go out the next day and play. Jim Leyland certainly doesn't panic. His alternate theory -- "that's baseball" -- demonstrates it.


Narrative 2: The five-day hiatus between the end of the ALCS and the beginning of the World Series made Detroit rusty.

Narrative's Attractiveness: Explains why the Tigers scored six runs in four World Series games after destroying the Yankees. By inference, blames ARod for the loss, keeps universe in equilibrium.

Narrative's Flaw: After playing 171 games over six-and-a-half months, a five-day break made them rusty? That is some rapid oxidation. A non-galvanized iron nail dipped in salt water takes eight days to rust through, and it isn't playing simulated games against a local college team. The rust theory also doesn't explain what happened after Game One, or why Detroit's fielding -- its soft, white underbelly all season -- was pretty sharp for four games.


Narrative 3: The Giants have won two of the last three World Series because they're high character guys who play together as a team. They're not the most talented or the best, but they have each other's backs.

Narrative's Attractiveness: Coaxes a tear from our eye and provides hope that righteousness can triumph.

Narrative's Flaw: Isn't it amazing how you never hear this explanation before a team wins it all?  Another problem with this theory: Brian Wilson.


Narrative 4: Brian Sabean didn't look at Marco Scutaro's slugging percentage or Wins Against Replacement when he picked him up at the trade deadline. He was looking for a high-character professional who could sacrifice and steal and provide a steadying influence on the infield. (I actually heard this from a stellar play-by-play man.)

Narrative's Attractiveness: Explains how a lifetime .276/.340/.391 hitter becomes the team's MVP for 61 regular season games and 16 playoff games. Also reminds us what a jerk Matt Holliday is. Takes a stab at the stat guys who seem to be winning all the arguments.

Narrative's Flaw: Marco Scutaro wasn't valuable to the Giants because he bunted and acted like a professional. He was valuable because he hit .356/.385/.473 with good infield defense before he got hot in the post-season. No one would be talking about him if he won the Lady Byng Trophy while hitting .276/.340/.391 and sacrificing.


Narrative 5: The Giants played a little better and got a couple of breaks over four games. The Tigers' top-heavy lineup was dependent on Fielder and Cabrera hitting. Who knows what impact playing in miserable conditions has on people accustomed to performing when it's warm and dry?

Narrative's Attractiveness: There is nothing attractive about this narrative.

Narrative's Flaw: It is not spiritual. It fails to pay homage to grit and determination. It fails to link winning the championship with superior character. It makes it sound as if the World Series doesn't prove anything. Stop saying this! Stop it! Stop!