He's A Prince But He's No Fielder

Time for all you Detroit Tiger fans to practice your cartwheels -- an athletic act that Prince Fielder, Miguel Cabrera and Victor Martinez can't replicate.

I know the folks in Motown are atwitter over the Murder's Row -- or duo, for now -- of Fielder and Cabrera in the wake of the nine-year, $214 million signing of Cecil's son. No doubt, that's some formidable pop in the middle of the lineup. You might say it's . . . sizable.

My hatred for this signing is sizable too. You might say Prince Fielder-sized.

Prince Fielder is a certified stud with the wood. The length of the commitment and the outlay required is not the problem; it's the cost of signing a 28-year-old, top-five slugger. The problem is that the Tigers have to take the field every half inning, and in that vein, they now have three Hummers in a gas-conscious world. Detroit plans to play Fielder at first and Cabrera at third and Jhonny Peralta at short. They might as well stick Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Jose Feliciano in the outfield because that is one ghastly defensive team.

At 275 pounds, Cabrera has all the mobility of a sofa-sleeper. Sixty pounds ago he staffed the hot corner for Florida -- in much the same way that Capt. Francesco Schettino "staffed" the Costa Concordia. His attempts to snare groundballs beyond arms length in 2012 will either be comic or tragic, depending on how hard you root for the White Sox.

In addition, he and Peralta (and keystoner Ryan Raburn) had better make good throws to first, because Fielder is ironically named. At 260 pounds himself, Fielder will be Cabrera's doppelganger across the infield. It won't get any better when V-Mart returns from a torn ACL -- probably next year -- because that guarantees at least two of the trio will have to play the field if the third DHs.

In short, Detroit now has three scary sluggers, but all three play the same defensive position -- none. Add to that a pitching staff that includes a Cy Young winner who is nearly certain to regress and a supporting cast that boasts Doug Fister and three guys whose records masked their mediocrity last year.

Sure, the Tigers will hit, but they won't catch and they won't run (49 steals last year and Austin Jackson had 22 of them) and their suspect pitching won't get any help. This combination of parts has Edsel written all over it and it's not due for an upgrade until V-Mart's contract expires in three years. Prince Fielder is a great pickup -- but not for this team.

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