APpalling!

No, seriously, the Associated Press was not invented as fodder for discerning sports bloggers. But if someone hangs a curve with the bases loaded, you don't refuse to bust it out of the park just because the pitcher is an inept dope. Sure, after a few lollipops it might be time to find stiffer competition, but let's shoot fish in a barrel once again for some quick laughs.

AP report: Carlos Beltran's sacrifice fly started a four-run rally in the seventh inning and the Mets held on for a 4-2 victory over the Reds.

Memo to the AP intern who wrote this dreck: a sacrifice fly, by definition, cannot start a rally. Someone had to be on third in order for the ordinary fly ball out to mean anything. This is like saying that Gettysburg started the Civil War.

Jose Reyes was on third, as a matter of fact, the result of consecutive singles by him and Justin Turner. To say Reyes "started" the rally would be vastly fairer, but still not entirely accurate. 

Following Beltran's out, David Wright singled, Daniel Murphy doubled in two runs and Jason Bay plated Murphy with a safety.

So, Dissociated Press, your hero, Carlos Beltran, had the distinction among the first six batters in the inning to make the only out. He contributed negatively to the proceedings. Absent his contribution, the Mets would have scored the same runs in exactly the same order but would have had a better chance to score a fifth run with Bay on base and one less out.

Braindrizling report: Daniel Murphy doubled in two runs during a four-run rally in the seventh inning and R.A. Dickey and four relievers stymied the powerful Cincinnati lineup in a 4-2 victory.

But wait, there's more!

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In the box score right next to the Mets-Reds writeup:

Aaron Harang outpitched Cliff Lee, Chris Denorfia stole home and San Diego beat the Phillies for the first time in more than a year.

This is what social scientists call TBU -- true but useless. Your grandmother outpitched CLiff Lee last night. Lee surrendered five runs on 10 hits in four innings in another July meltdown.

Harang, who earned top billing in the AP account, didn't even earn a quality start. He gave up four runs on eight hits and two walks in six innings and really deserves none of the credit for the win. (Relievers Chad Qualls, Mike Adams and Heath Bell did their usual stellar job strangling the Phils over the final three frames.)

On the other hand, Denorfia raced to the plate with an unassisted run on a play that hadn't been successfully executed by a Padre in SIX YEARS. But the AP chose to feature Aaron Harang and his game ERA of 6.00. Really, with all the unemployed journalists, can't AP find someone who can think?

There is a common thread here. Carlos Beltran was credited with an RBI. Aaron Harang got credit for a win. Being stuck in a statistical 1955 means that the Associated Press can't tell an accurate story because it's focused on old fogey stats that we've known for years distort reality. And since the Associated Press is a cooperative, owned by its member news operations across the country, this ignorance is a reflection of the entire state of sports journalism today.

Braindrizzling report: Chris Denorfia stole home and the Padres pounded Cliff Lee for 10 hits in four innings as San Diego defeated the Phillies for the first time in more than a year.

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