Hold This Stat

Every election, reporters -- particularly broadcast reporters -- dutifully relate how much money has been raised by candidates for everything from city council to president. Is this information relevant? Elections suggest it is not. Both Barak Obama and George Bush raised hundreds of millions of dollars and thumbed their noses at federal campaign limits. Is this information interesting? Do you really want to hear a list of candidates and how much they've raised?

So why is this information reported during each election cycle? Because it's so easy to obtain and understand that even a broadcast reporter can dig it up and spit it out.

And that, my friends, is why the Associated Press is now including the Hold in its baseball box scores, even though there is not a baseball fan this side of the Andromeda galaxy who puts any stock in this statistic.

Of all the many useful new measurements that could actually increase readers' understanding of the game -- VORP, BABIP, EQA, Win Shares -- the AP has decided to identify holds because any innumerate, third-rate intern on the overnight shift can figure it out while monitoring Sports Center and scanning the police blotter. VORP, on the other hand, requires a working knowledge of multiplication's profound complexities and division's subtle nuances.

Any reliever who comes in with a lead of three runs or less and doesn't blow it gets a hold. And I mean any. Thus, a right-handed 29-year-old gentleman named Bobby Korecky, despite a generally unimpressive 5.31 ERA, 11 walks and six strikeouts in 20.7 innings of MLB experience, can brag to his homeys that he was credited by the baseball world for "holding" the Rockies during his brief stint in the Diamondbacks' game on April 22, 2009. What Korecky did in unofficial terms was "stink," though fortunately for him Elias Sports Bureau records no such evaluation.

Here is a snapshot of Korecky's performance: He entered the game in the sixth inning with a 6-3 Arizona lead and managed to retire two batters before being run out of the game on a hit and two walks, two runs scored and the beginning of the rally that led to a 9-6 Colorado win. Way to hold 'em, Bobby!

Maybe I have it wrong. Perhaps publishing the hold is part of a diabolical AP plot to enhance the perceived value of the save. Only in comparison to the utterly worthless hold does the generally useless save vindicate its existence. Bwa-ha-ha-ha. It's a Machiavellian scheme by the evil geniuses at AP, I tell you!

Save us!

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