The "Stick a Knitting Needle in Your Eye" Bowl

For those still trapped in the argument that college football is about "student athletes" engaged in "amateur athletics" rather than a money grab by educational institutions, I present contrary evidence exhibit #736, today's Zaxby's Heart of Dallas Bowl.

Did you catch that irony? Zaxby's, purveyors of fried chicken, fried potatoes and 20-ounce cups of liquid sugar, is sponsoring a bowl game with the word "heart" in it. As in, you'll need a new one if we manage to convince you that our product constitutes a meal.

Meet the Mighty Contestants
That's a mere quibble to the two contestants, Army and the
University of North Texas, each of which will receive $1,100,000 for its trouble. For the Army, that will buy a wrench or two. North Texas, which won't have to pay for transportation or lodging to the Cotton Bowl stadium 43 miles away, pockets the cash and gets what amounts to another home game.

The game itself? Well, let's start by noting that Army is an independent Division 1 team that fattened up on Division 1A meatballs Lafayette and Morgan State in order to notch 7 wins in 12 games, and already prevailed in its rivalry game over Navy a couple of weeks ago. For the Black Knight players, this bowl has to constitute a massive letdown. But you follow orders when the people making the decisions will be your superiors for the rest of your college career and then for at least another four years after that.

UNT plays in a second-rate conference (Conference USA) where it went 3-5, en route to a 5-7 record overall, including beatdowns by mighty Western Kentucky (45-7) and Texas-El Paso (52-24).

A Showdown We've Been Waiting For -- Since October
If you think that a 5-7 team shouldn't be rewarded with a post-season berth, wait, the plot thickens. One of North Texas's victories this year came against ... this very same Army squad. Followers of these middling programs have already had their eyeballs scorched by this pathetic match-up back in late October. (After which UNT lost four of five contests before "earning" this bowl game, one of 40 being played by 80 Division 1 teams, 20 of which failed to win more games than they lost.)

So you can imagine the excitement, the build-up, the anticipation...that Zaxby's must feel for the advertising opportunities it will have when ESPN 23 presents the game at 11 a.m. Dallas time on the Tuesday after Christmas. Because, as you were saying, college sports are all about amateur athletes (who were done with their semester two weeks ago) and not college revenues.