This week, Toronto GM Alex Antholopolous channeled his inner PT Barnum and picked up two very useful things from the Anaheim Angels in addition to fourth outfielder Juan Rivera: slugging catcher Mike Napoli and the GDP of Lady Gaga.
It's hard to imagine how drunk Anthopolous had to get Angels owner Arte Moreno and GM Tony Reagins to bamboozle a deal for Vernon Wells that actually netted the Jays anything other than cost relief. Two-point-oh on the breathalyzer strikes me as the floor.
What Antholopous unloaded was such a staggeringly horrible contract (for which he was not responsible) that it actually stymied any serious roster repair north of the border. For a non-contender in the toughest division in baseball, that put the playoffs farther away than Cabo San Lucas. Wells' sub-Brad Hawpe production (.328/.470 three-year average) and lengthening teeth (he's 33) somehow command $86 million over the next four years. (Regards from Gary Matthews Jr. and Barry Zito!) They are going to be the longest four years of Moreno's life because, though the contract won't choke the Angels financially, it will limit their flexibility, particularly once moving Wells to a corner outfield spot becomes unavoidable. That well may be June of this year.
If nothing had gone to Ontario in return, Blue Jay brass would be doing Braylon Edwards imitations. It gets even better though, because they coaxed Napoli and Rivera into the deal. Revised estimate: two-point-five on the breathalyzer.
Napoli, a 29-year-old backstop who'll make a quarter of Wells' salary this season, actually outhits Wells (346/.485 lifetime). He also outhits everyone in the Blue Jays lineup not named Jose Bautista, which offsets his less-than-stellar skills inside the tools of ignorance. Conversely, Rivera is a garden-variety defensive replacement/fourth outfielder making $5.25 million in 2011. Then he's off the books and the Jays can collect a draft pick when someone else signs him.
Bottom line: the Angels improved in the outfield, lost a solid bat behind the plate and hardened their financial arteries for the next four years. Viewer discretion is advised this year in Orange County. The Blue Jays got the most valuable player in the deal and saved $12 million this year and $10-$13 million a year for each of the next three. (Napoli can become a free agent in 2012; his current market value is roughly $7.5-$8 million, compared to Wells' $21 million salary each year from 2012-2014.)
What can Toronto do with its $51 million saved? Well, the Jays could add four years of a spicy young starter like Ervin Santana (signed in Anaheim for $31 million), two years of outfield proficiency like Andre Ethier ($16 million by the Dodgers) and a season of solid middle-relief action like Frank Francisco ($3.625 million in Arlington). Back of the envelope, that's eight more wins next year, the difference between middle of the pack (84 wins) and playoff team (92 wins), and that assumes the unlikely -- that Wells for Napoli & Rivera is a wash.
By now, Moreno and Reagins should have awoken from their stupor to a new mermaid tattoo, an empty wallet and Vernon Wells standing in front of Mike Napoli's locker. And the worst part is, their heads won't stop pounding for four years.
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