A Love Letter

Dear Junior,

To everything there is a season under heaven. A time to be born, a time to die. A time to reap, a time to sow.

A time to retire. That was last year. I swear it's not too late. Please.

You batted .214/.324/.411 during your swan song in Seattle. That's Gerardo Parra territory. You know Gerardo Parra? Me either.

As an ancient Mariner, you're an albatross. Worse, you're getting worse. You're so limited in the field that your DH defense stinks. So does your attendance. The dog eats your homework, not to mention your hamstring, a lot.

Give yourself a 40th birthday present next week. Trade yourself to your family. Watch Trey play high school ball. Talk old times with dad. Watch games in HD on your home projection sytem. Curse at Joe Morgan.

Please. Don't make us cut you.

Love,
Baseball Fans
b

Worse Prospects Than Chief Seattle

Pity poor Jack Zduriencik. It's bad enough no one outside Wroclaw (pronounced: Vrots-waff) can identify him correctly within three consonants. The Seattle Mariners GM now has the unenviable task of trying to build a contender against an improving division without the minor benefit of cash or talent.

Last year when the M's picked up Eric Bedard and his medical chart, I questioned whether they had enough lumber to contend even with him. Ha! This team hasn't even a sapling.

The peak of Marinerdom is an aging Ichiro, who, without the support of power or walks, is fast approaching offensive irrelevance. Other than his base stealing proficiency, he's an empty .310 hitter.

Oh, but wait, Raul Ibanez is a nice player. Yup, and for someone else in 2009. He's a free agent, and unless he loves coffee, rain and the Space Needle, he'll skedaddle to a team that has a snowball's chance in hell to contend, like anyone else in the Majors.

After that, there's Adrian Beltre, a free agent after '09, Jose Lopez, a second-baseman with one good year tucked in his belt, and a sucking black hole on offense. Besides these four, the entire rest of the team was 30 runs worse than a team of Triple-A players. Put another way, Mets back-up outfielder Angel Pagan, who batted .275 with no homers and 12 RBI in 105 plate appearances, was alone worth three more wins to his team, than the entire Mariners roster combined outside the aforementioned quartet.

Seattle might have a reasonable rotation next year. And it might not. Felix Hernandez should continue to excel. Jarrod Washburn may or may not defy predictions that he's over like Hootie and the Blowfish. Bedard might make more than 15 starts. And Carlos Silva might suddenly learn how to miss bats, but that would be counting on a guy with a 6.46 ERA and four strikeouts a game in '08.

The Mariners could decide to convert effective relievers like Ryan Rowland-Smith and Brandon Morrow into starters, but that would deplete the only asset the team has. Still, given the team's utter hopelessness, it's probably worth the risk.

Here's the real problem: former GM Bill Bavasi sunk $80 million into this pile of flotsam and jetsam, leaving Zduriencik with little room to maneuver. He could swap out Beltre and Washburn for some young players and hope the largely barren farm sprouts some tasty treats real fast. But it's looking as if the long, dreary winter in Seattle will last all the way through next Fall.

Hot Stove Musings

One off-season trade strikes me as a win-win proposition, a concept you don't see in team sports very much. After all, baseball teams are at least indirect competitors and often direct competitors. It's as if two countries fought a war and were both better off in the end.

It's the Orioles-Mariners blockbuster centering around fireballer Erik Bedard. Bedard was a Cy Young contender until he got hurt last season, but keeping him in Baltimore for two years of rebuilding would be like installing mag wheels on a rusting pickup.

Instead, the O's peddled Bedard for a prospect haul to a team that thinks it's in a pennant race. They get back outfielder Adam Jones and four minor league pitchers, at least a couple of whom are highly regarded. Now, I know less about minor league pitching prospects than I know about 15th century Hungarian love songs, but the way to develop a front-line major league pitcher is to have 10 good minor league pitching prospects.

Moreover, the O's get a breakout-ready outfielder for six years of below-market cost who should be entering his prime in synch with the rest of the organization.

The Mariners give up nothing from today's lineup and reap a staff ace who, linked with the emerging Felix Hernandez and a couple of mid-line starters in Jarrod Washburn and Carlos Silva, fronts a formidable mound corps in the Northwest.

The question is whether the Mariners sacrificed part of their future for a present that doesn't exist. Is Seattle really a contender in the AL West, even with Bedard? Look at their lineup: Beyond Ichiro, Beltre and the smoldering ruins of Richie Sexson, there isn't a single tough out. It'll be interesting to see whether pitching and good defense without run support can keep pace with the Anaheim Armada.

The best and worst signings of the year might have both been the work of the Milwaukee Brewers. Inking Mike Cameron to patrol centerfield once his steroid suspension ends dramatically upgrades the team. It moves Bill Hall to third and "The Bratwurst Butcher," Ryan Braun, to leftfield.

As a centerfielder, Hall was a fine third baseman. As a third baseman, Braun was a fine plumbing supply salesman. The NL Rookie of the Year will still turn left into Frankie's Fun Park, but hell, it's only left. The more important defensive positions of center and third will be in far, far better hands. The Beermakers' pitchers should benefit.

But not enough to justify exporting 10 million Loonies to Quebec for the right to get whiplash watching some guy who used to be Eric Gagne surrender gopher balls. Last year Francisco Cordero recorded 44 saves and an ERA of three for the Brewers. A reasonable prediction for Gagne is the reverse -- three saves and a 44 ERA before Derrick Turnbow gets his turn. The Brewers could have bought the entire Pirates roster for that much coin, thrown away the entire team and gotten more value from either Ian Snell or Tom Gorzelany alone.

Fortunately for the Brewers, the NL Central is a wasteland. It's them and the Cubs and run for the pubs in that division.