The Top 100 Athletes of the Century

I was listening to a discussion of ESPN's Sports Century list of the greatest North American athletes of the 20th century. The names generally won't surprise you -- Jordan, Ruth, Ali, Jim Brown, Gretzky, Owens, Thorpe, Mays, Nicklaus, Didriksen. 

(Aside -- I've been amazed over the years at the whitewashing [no pun intended] of Muhammad Ali's career; he was an innovative boxer and personality, and I tended to root for him, but I don't think an objective review of his career puts him in the top 30 of the century's athletes. And I have no idea what to do with Babe Didriksen, but I doubt anyone else does, and they just wanted to get a woman into the top 10.)

After Ruth and Mays, Aaron (14), Jackie Robinson (15), Williams (16), Cobb (20), DiMaggio (22), Gehrig (34), Mantle (37), Koufax (42) round out the top 50. Honus Wager and Rogers Hornsby are in the 80s, presumably because no one voting saw them play.

But the point here isn't to quibble about the list, particularly when it doesn't appear anyone defined "athlete;" it's to marvel at how unbelievably long ago the list was created. Consider that the following careers either hadn't started or were in their infancies at the time: Tiger Woods, Michael Phelps, Lance Armstrong, Serena Williams, Jeff Gordon, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Tim Duncan, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Sidney Crosby, Floyd Mayweather Jr., Alex Rodriguez, Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter and Albert Pujols. It also wouldn't include the second half of Barry Bonds' career and the marvel that was.

...And I'm sure I've left neglected someone. (Roger Federer would be on the list if Switzerland were in North America.)

Consider that: Tiger Woods and Michael Phelps didn't make the cut.

If we were making a list of the top 100 athletes of the 100 years between 1916 and today,  some of those names would cruise to the top. Woods revolutionized a sport and dominated it like no other. Michael Phelps is, by a wide margin, the most decorated Olympian ever. Serena Williams might be the greatest female tennis player of all time. Lance Armstrong won more of his sport's championships than anyone in history. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are Mt. Rushmore quarterbacks. LeBron James is a phenomenon hitherto unwitnessed in sports. 

Where does that leave the lowly baseball players? I'm pretty sure none but Bonds could even sniff the list, and that's only if his chemical adventures are disregarded. Maybe Mike Trout, Bryce Harper and their generation can redeem America's Pastime.

For me, the epiphany related to the compilation of this list is how incredibly much has transpired in sports since the turn of the millennium, which hadn't previously felt so long ago. I guess time flies when the Royals win the World Series.

Why I Despise Ryan Braun More Than I Despise Alex Rodriguez

As if any more data points were necessary, Alex Rodriguez demonstrated this week that he belongs to a growing club of people -- Lance Armstrong, Bill Clinton, Ryan Braun, Ted Bundy among others -- for whom lying is a strategy and for whom the truth is an option only when all others have been exhausted.

ARod released a written statement this week vaguely apologizing for "mistakes" without ever identifying his transgressions amid the hope that the baseball public would simply forget about it and let him play ball. This is a ploy clearly devised by new handlers who recognize that there is plenty of precedent for avoiding the issue until the public just gives up and talks about something else.

This strategy worked magnificently for Braun, but for reasons unavailable to ARod. Braun still has ability that endears him to the Milwaukee faithful. Although Braun is the same conniving scumbag that Rodriguez is, his entire lying scheme can be seen as one incident, so that even fans residing outside Wisconsin might be willing to give him a second chance. And Braun never committed the tripartite sins of a) not being Derek Jeter, b) signing an insanely lucrative contract or c) going to New York.

Rodriguez has to admire Braun from afar for ingeniously squirming out of responsibility for his package of bald-faced lying, phony self-righteousness, evasion of consequences -- he accepted a suspension during which he was injured anyway; his one and only punishment being the lost income during that period --  and reinstatement in the hometown fans' hearts. Braun and his PR team have to earn ARod's particular reverence for the manner in which they cynically portrayed his refusal to discuss his transgressions as an abject apology.

Sadly, as with much else in his life, Alex Rodriguez is way too tone deaf to pull off a Braun. For all his world class talent, his immense drive and hard work, his intelligence and his spectacular good looks, ARod is a supremely sad and pathetic creature worthy of our sympathy alongside our scorn. It is transparent from a great distance that he suffers from raging self-doubt and very possibly depression. He is extremely uncomfortable in his own snake skin and so wants to be liked without understanding that he first has to like himself.

And so Rodriguez's evasiveness will simply come off as evasiveness. Yankee fans will mock him. The team will beseech the god of loopholes for a way out of his contract. The media will rip what is left of him until they get tired of it, or until he gets hurt again. In the end, it won't matter anyway, because ARod will start to embarrass himself on the field. Don't be surprised if he retires in shame before his contract runs out (in three years.)

Ultimately, shame and accountability will be the reasons to detest Braun and not Rodriguez. ARod, unable to tune out other people's wrath, suffers in his shame and is held accountable for his misdeeds by everyone connected to the sport. Braun, pathologically, knows no shame and has manipulated his situation so that he will get away with it.

New Rules For Today's Sports

New Rule: A woman you have never met, by definition, is not your girlfriend.

Evidently this rule was not already in force in Indiana or Hawai'i.

New Rule: Lying, cheating, harassing, slandering and litigating for 15 years is not ameliorated in the slightest by an admission after conviction.

This rule remains in force but evidently at least one person and his well-paid advisers believe it can be circumvented.

New Rule: Writing a silly book hectoring your former employer is not the best revenge. Living well, by bringing a pennant to Cleveland, is.

Evidently you can get a job as a leader of men without knowing this rule.

New Rule: A top-ranked college basketball team that defeats the #2, #3, #4 and #5 teams and then drops a league road contest to #16 is still the #1 team in the land.
              Part B of New Rule: Even if it is Duke.

This rule does not seem to have widespread support.

New Rule: Anyone demonstrating sufficiently dim wits to assert that winning four of four Super Bowls is superior to winning four of six should be banned from the radio airwaves until they can credibly explain how leading a team to six championship games is a lesser accomplishment than leading a team to four.

The people who would have to enforce this rule are equally dimwitted.

New Rule: The rule requiring the L.A. Lakers to make the NBA playoffs is hereby repealed.

This rule is supported in 49 of 50 states but is unlikely to be enforced. Again.

New Rule: The NHL will have a labor dispute that eliminates all games before January every year.

This rule is evidently already in force.